I’m just going to get this out of the way now:
Yes, I’ve been off-blog for a long time. Like, 2 months.
Every time I go off-blog for more than a few weeks, I forget how to start blog posts. Usually I give up and begin the opening sentence like we’re already in the middle of a conversation, which generally includes the word “so” (Exhibit A, Exhibit B, Exhibit C, you get it).
Total, I’ve been blogging somewhat consistently for approximately 6 years. Granted, I was also unfaithful to my first blogging platform Blogspot/Blogger/whatever the heck it’s called now, and even tried Posterous for a hot second, but WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THESE THINGS (and no, I’m not going to tell you where you can find my old blogs so BACK OFF, PATRICE). Anyway, it’s come to a point where I’m no longer in school. My days are starting to look more and more alike, when I line them up one next to the other. And I’m not entirely sure what this blog is turning/going to turn into.
Let’s face it, it’s always been a hodgepodge of brain vomit, consisting mostly of moaning about writing, book things, Batman, Disney movie GIFs, and moaning about writing. This is because I like all of these things, and I wanted to make a blog about things that I like.
But now, I spend 8 hours every day at work and it’s hard not to talk about work all the time and I’m acutely aware of how much people don’t want to hear about me working, so whenever I sit down to blog, I am a little rattled by how, in general, I usually can only think about things that happen to me at work. Old fart problems, dude.
What’s more is my Figment days are, by and large, behind me. Y’know, since the last time I posted anything was, oh, let’s see, over a year ago.
I still love Figment. I will continue to tell every aspiring writer I ever meet about it, and probably read your Figment things if you throw links at me. Because Figment remains the greatest freaking thing that could have happened to my writing dreams. I met some of my closest friends through random clicks on links in old Figment newsletters.
But, when I think about the way I write now, I realize how much I’ve changed. Good thing, too, because when I read some of my old stuff, it physically hurts me. (Especially that story I wrote a few weeks ago. Wow.)
It used to be that I could write after I got back from class, then maybe watch a couple episodes of Downton Abbey before it got weird, go to class and edit few hundred words in the back of a lecture hall, and then free-write into the night.* Now?
I write in the stolen minutes.
I write between my lunch break and my 1 o’clock meeting. I write for a half-hour before I go to bed, and try not to be angry at myself for being in the middle of ten freaking projects and not seeing the light at the end of any of them. I also try to have a social life sometimes. It’s hard.
I don’t usually talk about these things, because I know writers who have it a lot harder than me. And then when it comes to blogging? Pff. Yes, in all my spare time, that’s what I will do. Write about how I have no time to write. And yet, I am 9 books into my 55-book Goodreads Reading Challenge. I guess I just feel weird about life, and by association, about blogging. I’m pretty happy at my job. I’m pretty exhausted from my job. I’m writing a new short story that turned into a novelette that is now 2,000 words away from being a novella. I’m binge-watching Scrubs with my roommate, who tells me that I mumble things when I write (my old roommate never told me this. This is probably because she was also crazy [hi old roommate! I love you don’t kill me]).
I think I probably need more Jesus. But since when is that news.
I will now share with you my Pros & Cons of Adulting List. Behold.
|Pizza for dinner every night!! YEEEEEEAH||Forced to have pizza every night because too tired to buy groceries.|
|Discovering the magic of electric blankets…||…due to discovering that your apartment has no central heating.|
|Decorating your apartment with Pretty Things you purchased and/or made with leftover cardboard from moving in six months ago!||You find yourself Googling “how to change a drill bit” and realize that you will never find love.|
|Routines! Today I will spend 8 hours at the same place I will spend 8 hours tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day!||Routines. Today I will spend 8 hours at the same place I will spend 8 hours tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day.|
|Mario the Pizza Guy knows your name, probably!||Mario the Pizza Guy gets comfy because it’s the third time he’s seen you this week and starts announcing his arrival with “Time to get fat!” when you open the door.|
|You are now qualified to have a grown-up job with a grown-up paycheck rather than suffer the slave labor that are unpaid internships!||Realizing that you are probably going to have to watch YouTube tutorials tonight on how to do That Thing Your Boss Wants You To Do By Monday because COLLEGE NEVER TAUGHT ME THINGS I’M A SHAM|
|Being mature enough to leave a strongly-worded letter on the front door of your neighbor’s apartment, kindly asking them to please make their loud-a$$ demon dogs STFU at 6:30am on Saturday mornings!||Realizing that when your fitness instructor neighbor knocks on your door with your strongly-worded letter in his hand, you cannot call your mom to answer it for you.|
|You can spend your entire paycheck on BOOKS if you want!||You will have no money for rent or gas or bills or pizza. Or taxes (oh hey, I still have to do those. Thanks, Subconscious!).|
*…LOL who are we kidding, I never wrote that much. Except during NaNoWriMo. But that was a very noble cause.