How To: begin winter break

Step 1: When packing to return home, remind yourself that Colorado is -239,845,687º F in December.

Step 2: Upon arrival at Denver International Airport, attempt to use feminine wiles to beguile man with large biceps into dragging your 49 lb. bag off of Carousel 6. If wiles fail, cry.

Step 3: Upon arrival at home, raid fridge—it will undoubtably contain more readily available food than you have seen in months.

Step 4: Greet the cat.

Step 5: Remember that you’re allergic to the cat.

Step 6: Force little brother to carry 49 lb. bag downstairs to your room.

Step 7: Feel guilty about forcing little brother to carry 49 lb. bag.

Step 8: Get over it when you realize that he’s like a foot taller than you now.

Step 9: Sit on couch and talk to mom about all your problems for indefinite period of time.

Step 10:

Step 11: Realize that the kitchen is a dangerous place.

Step 12: Realize that you don’t care.

Step 13:

Step 14: Go to bed early. Get out of bed late.

Step 15: Read a book that has nothing to do with your major(s).

Step 16: Repeat Steps 10 and 13.

Step 17: Play Guitar Hero World Tour on the PS3 for 3 hours. Like a boss.

Step 18: Pwn.

Step 19: Watch every Christmas movie ever made. EVER.

Step 20: Look up the words to that song the Whos sing around the Christmas tree in How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Step 21: Sing it until you want shoot the dude who wrote it.

Step 22: Remember that you’re supposed to write at some point during this break.

Step 23: ………………

Step 24:

Samantha Chaffin











3 thoughts on “How To: begin winter break

    • samchaffin says:

      I don’t know why I haven’t answered this until now… but I still don’t know. I just make up the words as I go along; as long as it sort of rhymes, it’s good enough for me.

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